Here is one I didn't prepare earlier

Max never misses an episode of Delia Smith's Cooking.  It could have something to do with the fact that I watch WAY too many cooking programs - or perhaps he just likes her  cat.  I'm sure there is some syndrome associated with the ill effects of watching SBS Food more than any other channel.  I noticed for a while there I was 'plating up' my food and wiping the edges with a cloth before serving.  Sad.  Like everyone who watches these programs we watch and think hey that's a great idea, I should try that one day.  Unfortunately however I never remember anything past the ad break anymore.  I've tried to write recipes down but because of the editing and the magic of television it's never quite the same.  That magic doesn't translate past the wrong size baking dish, the five missing ingredients you left off, the fact that it's a commercial oven and you don't have a team of kitchen hands to help you clean up the crater of burnt substance that won't lift off the wrong sized pan.  I've many years later come across my television recipes that are written on the back of envelopes, telephone bills (when they were just telephones) and scraps of conference note pads.  There is usually a few ingredients and about three words for the method.  Mix, bake or shove in oven with other ingredients.  But it looked so simple when Nigella did it.  I'm often left there wondering, after having proudly put my magic dish in the oven why there is a container of unopened ingredient left on the bench. Oops.  Just for once when they stick that finger into the bowl, lick and declare a precocious 'yummy', I'd like to see someone fess up that it takes bloody awful and they need to start again.  Ain't no magic in that I guess.  The worst offenders are the ones on the beach, on the top of a cliff, in the middle of a lush green paddock that pull out a parade of about twenty ingredients that would be as hard to find as the paddock they're standing in.  If you followed some of these recipes, you'd be rocking up at the BBQ with a trailer loaded with a bunch of unheard of ingredients.  Those, so very set up scenes of outdoors cooking amongst some of the country's spectacular views are great viewing for scenery but pretty unlikely you'd be bringing along a Kitchen Aid in your backpack.  I'm yet to see a Sherpa prioritise a mortar and pestle amongst the life saving essentials.  At least Delia understands.  She's got a cat.  They can pick fakery a mile off.